


An Existential Existence

by CelaenaAelin72



Series: Scribbles [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Poetry, Prose Poem
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:23:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29802888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelaenaAelin72/pseuds/CelaenaAelin72
Summary: Okay. So. I wrote these poems, and I am ready to unleash them upon the world!
Series: Scribbles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2190648
Comments: 20
Kudos: 2





	1. An Existential Existence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fuckinqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckinqueen/gifts).



Why?  
Why here, why now?   
Why do I exist, and how?   
We are all slaves   
Of an existential existence 


	2. Silence

Darkness

and light.

The beginning

and the end.

Stifling, heavy, black.

Light, airy and free.

Silence thrives in her sound.

She can be anything,

and yet she chooses to be nothing.

She loves, she cries, she laughs.

And yet none will hear.

Love and loss,

yet none

see.

But I,

I know of 

Silence and her 

unhearing ears.

But others

know 

naught.

For with

her comes the

stifling sounds of silence,

for Silence is deaf.

And when 

flashes of light

split the night, the 

sound 

they made

was left unheard

by all but

her.


	3. Loss

Loss

Most despise it

Yet

There can be no love without loss

There can be no life without loss

No happiness

No meaning

Without loss

We couldn't differentiate 

Between the good and the bad

The happy and the sad

Loss helps us know ourselves


	4. Spiders

Creeping.

Crawling.

Skittering through the dark.

En masse they swarm

Eliciting shrieks of alarm.

Swarm over walls and floors

Over furniture, over all.

Misunderstood,

Though rightly so.

They help,

They terrify,

They are equally balanced.


	5. Everchanging Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So this one is one of my favorites, and I hope you enjoy!

As I sit here at my table

I wonder, can anybody give me something stable

To hold on to in this everchanging life,

Life of ours?

Next I know, we'll live among stars

It's all a part of this everchanging life

Life of ours

And though the fire burns

And chars,

It's all a part of this everchanging life

Life of ours

And though the road has many bumps

And jars,

It's all a part of this everchanging life

Life of ours


	6. Broken

They say that I’m broken  
But isn’t broken glass just as bright?   
Isn’t broken candy just as sweet?   
Isn’t broken live worse than no love?


	7. Yourself

Sing, and find yourself  
Write, and know yourself

Love, and be yourself

Feel, and know you are yourself

Yourself is beautiful 

Yourself is great

Yourself is wonderful

Open up the gate

  
  
  



	8. Hello?

Hello?

Are you there?

Is anyone?

Or am I alone?

Am I even here?

Or am I just a hallucination?

A product of my own imagination?

Does anyone know me? 

Do they care?

Or am I nothing?

A meaningless speck?

A waste of good life?

Hello?


	9. Lonely

I’m lonely   
So lonely   
If only   
Someone   
Would help me   
Then maybe   
I wouldn’t   
Be so lonely   
Anymore


	10. Smiles

Those who smile all the time   
Have the most to hide   
And the most pain inside


	11. If I Could Fly

If I could fly   
Grow some wings   
I’d soar so high   
Above the hurtful things


	12. What

What are words 

And why are they here?

What is love

And how do you define it?

What are friends

And how do you make them?

What am I 

And why do I exist?


	13. True Magics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t... don’t really like this one but here goes nothing. Someone else has liked this one, so let’s try

Moonlight 

Sunlight

Starlight

There is magic here

The magic of science

And of life

Moonlight 

Sunlight

Starlight

The magic

That is creation

It's essence

Is contained here

Moonlight

Sunlight

Starlight

True magics


	14. Bottom Of Life

Twist, twist, turn.

Gently spiral.

Why?

For life is a cesspool

Love, love, lose.

Sink straight down.

Why?

For life is a whirlpool.

Straight down I sink, till I find you at the bottom.

Both of us trapped in the pitch-black bottom of life.

Twisting, turning, trying to escape.

But none of us can rise above our stations.

None of us can rise above where we were born.

Here in the pitch-black bottom of life.


	15. Because

I write because...  


Because it makes me feel like I matter, even just to these scribbles on a page

Because it lets me express myself, lets me be myself, I don't have to wear a mask

Because I can choose what I will say, don't have to decide on the spur of a moment

Because I can be anyone but my failure of a self

I write because...

Because life is short, so I may as well enjoy it while I can


	16. The Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually off a prompt from back when I was still on Wattpad! It was “Write a poem beginning with the line ‘if the sun was my friend’” and I probably don’t need to tell you but this was the shortest and most depressed

If the sun was my friend  
I’d live like the moon   
Forever only reflecting it’s higher glory


	17. One Of Those Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This... I wrote this on Tuesday, kinda, since it was actually happening. And I don’t know why, when I’m so privileged, and I have everything I could ever want and then some, why I feel like this, and I hate myself for it. And I passed a hundred pounds for the first time ever, and like a year and a half ago I weighed sixty, and I’m fat and ugly and no matter what anyone says I can’t love myself
> 
> I’m so sorry I just went out and ranted on you guys you don’t need or want or deserve this

It’s One Of Those Days again   
A day when everything’s just a bit too bright   
And everything’s just a bit too loud   
And I weigh too much, and other children are starving   
And I am ungrateful   
And I shouldn’t feel this way   
And one day the illusion will crumble   
And everyone will see me for the horror I am   
Because it’s One Of Those Days again


	18. You

You

You change my mind

The only one who can do so

You

You support my dreams

However ill-fated

You

You know me

Now and forever

You

You are this poem

And I thank you


	19. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one’s one of my favorites!

Secrets.

Almost tangible,

Yet so out of reach.

We're grasping blindly in the dark,

Seizing upon the wild untruths,

Because sometimes lies are better than facts.

Secrets.

I'd tell you if I could

But some things

Are better left unsaid.

Secrets.

I can't tell you.

But I would.

I shouldn't tell you 

But I could.

But these secrets are not mine to share.


	20. Forever And Infinite

Forever

A strange concept 

Infinite

A very odd idea

They are different

And the same

And both

Apply

To 

This

Whatever 

This is in me

That will last forever 

And is infinite

Despite

The

Strange

Of it


End file.
